I didn't want to ask....

The last few months have been very quiet on the adoption front.  One of the most common things that we hear is "I didn't want to ask".  First off, please ask.  We are happy to talk about it.  We can't always tell you everything, but we will tell you what we can.  We enjoy talking about it.  Many of you probably saw this beautiful post that Amy ( my sister) wrote after Thanksgiving.  If you didn't get to see it on Facebook it I have posted it below:

“Adopting one child won’t change the world, but for that child, the world will change.” —Unknown

My sister, Brooke, and brother-in-law, Jerry started their journey to adopt in September of last year and today they are still waiting for the child (or children) God has called to become a Shands. Brooke and Jerry have constantly amazed me through this process. The process has been long and extremely emotional for them both. As they have encountered delay after delay, my reaction is to tell Brooke to take action but their response is to wait on the Lord because they know He is in charge. THEY AMAZE ME!! Jerry told Collin that, “If a certain child is meant to be with us God will make it happen, if that child is not meant to be with us we can’t make that happen.”

“I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” —John 14:18

Brooke and Jerry feel called to adopt a child, not a baby. When people ask her why she would want to adopt an older child and not a baby her response was, “Why would we get in line to wait for a baby when there are children who are waiting for a forever family?” If you don’t know my sister personally, that statement should tell you all you need to know about her.

“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” —Oprah Winfrey

Last year we expected there would be a new addition to the Shands family when we celebrated Christmas this year, but sadly that is not the case. We know God is faithful and His timing is perfect. So we wait and pray for the day the next Shands will join our family! This is my plea and prayer…PLEASE share this post, PLEASE pray for movement in the process, PLEASE send happy thoughts their way, PLEASE pray for a Christmas miracle!!
#prayingandwaitingonthenextshands

I told you, it was a beautiful post. Even though it looks like our miracle won't happen this Christmas we haven't given up on God's plan.  We know He has an AMAZING plan for our family.  Sometimes it gets really hard to see it and to be reminded of that.  Even though times are tough, we know He has a plan. 

  As most of you know:

It is mine and Jerry's favorite time of the year.  This year has been very different.  It has been much harder than we expected.  I normally wouldn't write about this (let's be honest, I haven't written much of anything lately!  LOL!) but writing seems to help and I know that there are others going through difficult times right now.  Maybe it can comfort those who feel alone to know you are not alone.  It is true in Amy's statement that we thought our Christmas this year would look much different.  Even up to a few months ago we thought this Christmas and this year would be so much different.  Unfortunately we are learning the hard way the frustrations of the adoption process.   

Jerry and I decided a few weeks ago that we would "take the rest of the year off" and listen to God and what he has planned for us.  We believe that God calls us to action, not just to sit there and wait. While we have taken the last few months off of actively doing what we can for our adoption we haven't been idle.  We have prayed, and we think that is what God wanted from us at this time.  Please be praying for what our next steps should be.  I also have realized that I have not spent the time I needed to in the Word during this quiet time.  I hope to dive in over the next few weeks, so if you have any encouraging scriptures or studies that you can pass my way I would appreciate it.  

Please remember those who hearts might be hurting this time of year.  I don't say this just for our family, I say this for so many others.  We am so blessed with friends and family that understand the hard times.  The people who send the text at just the right time to say they are praying for you, the people who share the hugs when they see the hurt in your eyes, the people who know words don't have to be shared.  I cannot say this enough we have the most wonderful support group.  Sometimes finding the right words to say is hard, so this season just be there for people.  

If you made it this far thanks for reading all my random thoughts.  We wish you all a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!  I hope that 2016 will be a great year for us all.  I have a project for 2016 that I will post about soon.  I hope you get to spend lots of time with your family and friends.  

Something amazing happened at church today!

Have you ever been attending a church and wonder if this is really where God wants you and your family to attend church?  We have been at Vaughn Park Church of Christ for almost 10 years now.  I'll tell you the truth, in out almost 10 years we have wondered if this is really where God wants our family.  Well, I can tell you without a doubt we are where we are supposed to be!  Our theme at church this year has been United!  Brad Sullivan (our preacher) has allowed God to speak through some amazing messages so far this year.  Today was: 

It was also our churches annual Agape Sunday.  Our church supports and partners with Agape of Central Alabama. Today was a little different. Today we not only focused on Agape, but Brad shined the light on the hurting children themselves and how we can help.  These are the children that Agape and so many other agencies and families help.  As you know this topic is near and dear to our hearts.  This topic is our heart! 

So let me share this, it does not matter how you get involved.  Just get involved.  There are lots of ways you can help.
* Obviously you can foster or adopt a child, but not everyone is called to do this. As Brad said this morning this might be your calling, but we are all called.
* You can support financially.  You can support the agency themselves, or a family that is fostering or adopting, or the child them self, or the school they attend or the church they attend.  Think about all the ways a few dollars could go to help a child or a family in an adoption or foster care situation.
*  You can give tangible items.  There are so many items that a family or child or even the agency might need. Clothes, Diapers, Food, School Supplies, Sports Equipment, Toys, Bedding, Towels, Toiletries, the list goes on and on.
* Time...this is a big one.  Think about when you brought your newborn birth child home.  Remember how tired you were when you got home with them and how your world completely changed. It was great wasn't it!  :)  Now imagine if they came home talking, maybe if they came to you from a terrible situation, or they had been abandoned.  You can help by giving the parents even 10 minutes.  Come and take the kids outside and play, or play a board game with them.  
* Prayer...even if you can do nothing else pray for these kids, these families, these agencies, these workers, pray without ceasing.
* Encourage...you might not understand why someone has chosen the path that they are walking down, but if they have put it in God's hands who are we to question.  We have had so many people ask us why we aren't using an agency or an attorney.  Why would we go through the state, won't it be harder, won't the kids be hurt more?  When we prayed about this we felt this was the path He wanted us to walk down.  Encourage, ask questions someone will tell you what they can.

I started this off with asking if you ever felt like you were where you were supposed to be.  Today was one of those moments that God reaffirmed that we are right where we are supposed to be.  This year during Agape Sunday the families who have fostered, adopted and in the adoption stages were asked to UNITE together to read the United Prayer.  The picture below is all of these families.  How amazing is this?!?!  In one church this is the some of the families who have been a part of adoption/foster care.  God is working.  We are so excited to be a part of this family.  We are right where God wants us!

I also wanted to leave some of the ways some of these families on stage grew and are growing their families or are fostering:

Agape of Central Alabama

Nightlight

Heart Gallery of Alabama

Adopt Us Kids

There are so many other groups and agencies that you can look at, but these I know personally people are or have used.  So get involved.  I hope you are where God wants you to be.  If you need a church or a group of adoptive/foster parents we have a great one.  We are even starting a group of all of us at church so we can support each other. 

Love to you all!  

PS...we are still waiting in journey!  But we pray every day for the child God has picked out for us.  No matter where they are or what they are going through we are praying!

You make me brave

Do you ever flip through the radio and hear just a snippet of a song and go back to that song like it is calling your name?  This happens to me every now and then.  Most of the time I feel that it is God giving me a message that I need to hear this song, or He is going to speak to me through the song.  So tonight I was driving home from church and was thinking about life, Mothers Day, adoption, friends, and family. I mean what else are you supposed to do when you have a 30 minute drive to and from any where you go?  Well, this was the song tonight.  This was the first time I heard it on the radio.  I heard it for the first time a few weeks ago when we were in Birmingham for a ladies conference.  

You Make Me Brave - You Tube video

Lyrics:

I stand before You now
The greatness of your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of you
King of Heaven, in humility, I bow

As Your love, in wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You made a way for all to enter in

I have heard You calling my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So I will let You draw me out beyond the shore
Into Your grace
Your grace

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made
You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves

You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made

At the time that I heard the song I was thinking about Mothers Day coming up and about the Run for a Mom race.  I was thinking how I hoped things would be different and we would be further along in our process. I was thinking about if God was trying to open my heart to more than two siblings?  I was thinking about the unrealistic expectations that were laid out in front of us and how I am a little upset with myself for believing them and not putting my faith in God's timing.  I have truly been focusing the last few weeks on the fact that this is God's timing and He knows what He is doing.  And I trust that He knows where our child or children are and He will find a way to make sure we are matched with them.  

And this song hits me...and it makes me think of things in a different light.  YOU MAKE ME BRAVE!!!  NO FEAR CAN HINDER NOW THE PROMISES YOU MADE!  Wow!  Thank you!  You remind me that I am a Mom!  And I should be able to celebrate Mothers Day. You remind me to take joy in those children around me who look at me like a second mother.  You remind me that it is your timing and no one else.  You remind me that you will not give us more than what is in your perfect plan.  You remind me that it is okay to have a heart and passion and be emotional about this process.  If I wasn't it wouldn't be me.  

So for right now this is my anthem!  What is your anthem?  

I hope all you moms out there have a great Mothers Day!  Thank you for all that you do!  You make us better people!  Remember those who have lost their children; those who buried their children; those who never met their children; those who have not been blessed with children yet; those who have lost touch with their children for whatever reason; and those who had to give their children away to give them a better life.  We are all mothers!  Happy Mothers Day to you all!  

A special Happy Mothers Day to my mom.  I am so thankful for you everyday! I want to be like you when I grow up!  I'm so blessed with a wonderful example.  I hope I can be half the mom you are!  

Rock n Roll Weekend!!

This weekend was the Rock n Roll Half Marathon in Nashville.  For some reason this time packing was a little off.  The forecast showed 90% chance of rain on race day.  Even though we were only staying one night we had enough stuff to fill the back seat of the truck.  We had race day close and then dry clothes for race day.  

The packing begins!

I 

I love that he will play along!  Those are goggles on his hat!  Gotta be prepared!  90% rain might turn into a swim rather than just a run!

We packed up and we were off to Nashville!  We had some extra company going with us!  He was great company!  He was so polite the entire trip!

One of the most precious moments happened when we got to Nashville.  This little boy was so excited to see his Dad!  He watched David all the way down the road!    

After lunch (more on that later) we headed to the expo.  WOW there was a ton of vendors at the expo.  After the expo we went and played with legos and boats at the Opry Mills Mall.  

I gotta tell you hanging out with these fellas sure is fun!  They will keep you laughing all the time.  Race day was next! And guess what no rain!!!  The day was beautiful!  For the race recap it only seems fair for it to come from Jerry himself.  

My thoughts during my recent half-marathon:

Mile 1: I love running!
Mile 2: I feel great! The intervals are working!
Mile 3: Still lots of people. 40 minutes isn't bad at the 5k mark with this much weaving.
Mile 4: Music Row is awesome!
Mile 5: My timer says walk, but this is downhill - I'll walk later.
Mile 6: Feeling good... But how long until my next walk break?
Mile 7: GU! It's what's for breakfast!
Mile 8: Second wind!
Mile 9: Did I just climb Mount Everest? OMG!
Mile 10: Panda Express, I hate you now and forevermore.
Mile 11: Why didn't I walk at mile 5 when my timer told me to?
Mile 12: LEG CRAMPS! Sweet mother of pearl, I hate life right now.
Mile 13: Time for some new hardware! YES!

It was a great day!  Jerry and David did great!  And getting to hang out with one of my besties made it even better.  Enjoy a few pictures from the race.  

Today Jerry was off recovering from the race and we got some new pieces of furniture that we have been waiting for!  We have his and her bookcases!  YAY!  

*Time to really be honest!

  We have had some rough days with our adoption journey.  So we are stepping back a little bit.  NOT GIVING UP, just stepping back.  We know that all of this is in God's control!  I talked to my best best friends the other night after church and told them I was struggling with this.  I feel like a Mom who is looking for her kids.  I'm not sure how to turn that off or turn it back a little bit. So today at work I had a special delivery.  

Talk about a basket of sunshine!  Am I spoiled or what?  I have the bestest friends ever!  We appreciate your continued prayers.  

Want to talk about our Adoption?

One thing Jerry and I love about life right now is getting to talk to people about our adoption process, growing our family and sharing the information we have learned about the adoption world.  Some people are afraid to ask us the questions they might really want to know.  So I thought I would put together some of the most Frequently Asked Questions.  I mean who doesn't love a good FAQ?!?!

1.  So when do you get your baby? Well we are not sure when we will be matched with our child, but we are about 99% sure we will not be getting a baby.  The next question we get is why do you say that?  Since we are adopting through the state most of their children are "older" children.  Most of their children are 8 or older.  They also have some form of a special need.  And have had a tough beginning to life.  And we are ready to give a home to them.  

2.  Are you getting a boy or a girl? That is a great question, and one we don't have an answer for yet. But we do not have a preference.  

3.  How old will they be?  We don't have a preference on this one either.  We have put in that we are willing to take any where from a newborn to 12 years old. 

4.  Why are you going through the state? After much prayer and talking to several agencies we felt that God wanted us to go through the state and be the forever family to a child who has come from foster care.  And who can really go against that God feeling?  

5.  Won't it be harder? Isn't parenting hard if you birthed your child?  Sure it is.  We know that we will have challenges and we know that we will reach out for help and support.  But we know that this is where God wants us and he will give us the strength to handle any challenge in our life.  

6.  Aren't you worried about the birth family coming back? This is not a major concern for us.  Most of the children have had their parental rights already terminated.  If we feel that it is safe for our child/children to have contact (phone, email, face to face) with some of their birth family then we will support that, BUT ONLY if it is safe.  

7.  What if you get more than one? Bring it on.  We have put in that we are willing to take up to two, if they are in a sibling group.  So that is always a possibility.  While we only have one room ready at this time and it is only set up one we have been planning.  Jerry and (Uncle) David have already talked and determined that they can build a bunk bed pretty quickly if needed, or we can get two twin bed frames if we needed to.  And we are prepared to turn the other room into another child's room if needed.  We have a plan!  :)    

8.  How long has your process been up to this point?  

For us so far we are entering into our 8th month of the process.  But we are in our first month of our paper pregnancy.  We started seriously looking last summer at different options and agencies, but we started our paperwork and classes in September 2014.  Boy this statement below is the truth.  If you ever want to see our stack of paperwork just ask.  And that is not even everything we have filled out, but it will all be worth it when we are matched with our child/children.

Paper Pregnant?  What's that?  That is when you have your home study approval and you are officially approved to adopt.  And now you are just waiting.  Oh the waiting...it is terrible.  God is teaching us here.  

This is just funny to me, but it will be so worth it!

Gosh, I hope it is not that long.  

One of the questions that follows this one is so once you are matched then what happens?  Once we are matched we will be able to read the child's profile, and if we decide to proceed then we will get to have a face to face visit. If that goes well we could have another face to face visit or an over night visit. After the over night visit we will get to have an extended visit, like a long weekend.  Much of this will depend on where the child is currently living.  We hope that our immediate family will be able to meet them at this point, but again we will have to see what the situation is.  Then if all goes well they get to move in.  In Alabama the child has to be in your home for three months before you can file for adoption.  Once we file for adoption we go to court and get to have our GOTCHA DAY and become an official family!  **Warning, during this time we will not be able to share any to much information about the child with you.  Until those papers are signed we will have to be very protective of information being shared.  I know this will be hard on all of us, but the reward will be great!  And then we can all yell from the mountain tops!  

9.  What do you do in your spare time to get things ready or not think about it so much?  If you know anything about me you know I like my lists, my schedules, and being prepared.  Well there is very little of that in this process.  So, we get things ready around the house for a child or children we don't know if they are a boy or a girl, if there is one or two, or how old they are or even what they like.  Sounds easy right?  Hahaha!  Well we clean out stuff.  The room is ready for a child.  The closet is my next project.  And you search.  You search to find your child.  I am currently in the process of setting up our profile on http://www.adoptuskids.org/ .  You have to write a description about the family and I am in the process of putting that together.  I am gathering information about surrounding states about their adoption process and requirements.  We have to stay within the state of Alabama for 6 months before we can put out inquires in other states and that is totally fine with us. But if the time comes and we need to start looking in other states we don't want to have to wait to met a requirement that we could have been prepared for earlier.  The below picture is my "adoption Mom bag".  It is something I made up, but it is something I have with me on most days.  It has my planner, notebook, folder and pens.  You never know when you might have a free moment to do some research.  I know I have a problem, but the first step is admitting it, right?

10. What can I do to help?  This is probably one of the questions we get asked the most.  And as much as I would love to be able to tell you exactly what we needed, sizes, color, styles, etc.  I just can't right now.  So for right now we ask for your prayers.  Prayers for us as we wait, prayers for our child/children, prayers for whatever situation they might be in this very minute, prayers for their safety, prayers for their foster families, prayers for our families and friends, prayers for our case worker, and even prayers for their birth family.  And know when the time comes and we need help with something we will ask.  

So I hope this answered some of your questions.  If you still have questions for us just ask.  We love talking about it.  It makes us feel more and more like parents.  And we love talking about our kids!  :)  

Oh yeah today was the first race of the year! Jerry informed me last night that he and David would be running in the  Resurrection Run this morning.  Awesome!  So we were up early after a night of celebrating with Miss Kelsey and her 16th Birthday last night and ready to rock a race.  Little did we know last night that registration was at 6:30 and the race didn't start till 8:30, but that gave Tricette and I time to catch up on some You Tube clips!  All in all it was a great race.  The weather was beautiful, the venue was nice, and the company was even better.  Jerry found out that he placed 2nd in his age group, so GO JERRY!  I guess it is safe to say:  Our season has started!  

Finding strength

Jerry is at the pool tonight, I had the worst headache I have had in a really long time.  So I was going to spend some time blogging and house walking!  My amazing husband took my hints and got me a vivofit 2. Check it out, it is so cool.  Well I was a few steps (2009 steps) short of my goal for today, so I have been house walking.  I can walk the house in about 200 steps.  Not too bad!

Some of you might have heard of the Living Proof Scripture Memory Challenge I have wanted to participate for a few years but have started it and then stopped.  This year I was determined to stick with it.  Several ladies at church are participating this year including my awesome friend Loren.

There are so many reason why I love this woman!  But one reason is she is never afraid to speak scripture.  She also finds scriptures for you right when you need it.  Last scripture she start memorizing spoke to me LOUD!  Many times friends get so excited because they are pregnant and expecting their children at the same time.  Well, this is my friend!  She is adopting as well.  It is great to have someone to talk to who is going through the same thing and knows how you feel.  This is the scripture she shared last time: 

Psalm 113:9 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 He gives the childless woman a family,

    making her a happy mother.

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord indeed.  Obviously this verse speaks to me off the bat.  I mean hello!  Who knew this was hidden in scripture?!?! This scripture has been on my mind and on my heart the last few weeks.  This is my scripture that I am memorizing this go around.  But as I starting thinking about it, God has fulfilled this scripture during this season of my life.  No I might not have my own children, but I do have a family that makes me a happy mother!  

 God has blessed us with family. They might not be blood family, but who cares.  They are family!  And I get to be one of many mothers!  This makes me happy!  So until I have children of my very own, thanks for letting me love your kids.

This concludes random thoughts!  :)  Next blog will be our FAQs.  Happy Easter and remember the reason we celebrate!

Making a few changes....and BIG update!!!

So I told you all that I was terrible on writing, but I have had so many people ask about the things going on in our lives so here I am with an update!  :) Jerry is still training for races!  He has a few coming up soon! The first race coming up is the Nashville Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon the last weekend of April.  He and one of our best friends will be running it!  ROAD TRIP!  After that we have Agape's Run for A Mom.  This race falls on Birth Mothers Mother's Day!  How cool is that!  We love this race!  And it will mean more to us this year and any years going forward!  At the end of May we have Capital of Dreams, I think Jerry is planning on doing the Olympic distance in this race.  Then I think he takes the summer off. To end the year with Ironman 70.3 Augusta.  Busy year, right!  Well that's just the start of our year, WE HOPE!  So here is the BIG NEWS...probably most or all of you reading this know this already...WE ARE ADOPTING!!!

That's right!  We have been through the 10 weeks of classes, we have written our autobiographies, filled out more paperwork than you could imagine, had our two home study visits, and waited and waited for what seemed like a terribly long time (reality was about 9 weeks) and then we found out 

YAY!  This is super great news!  So then we met with our county DHR case worker.  And now we really wait!  

So there a few things that we could while we wait!  One of those things was finished this week.  We have a room in waiting ready! My mom was amazing and came and painted the room.  I found curtains and a quilt for the bed.  And I love it!  

The color isn't much, but it is gender neutral and once we find out if we are getting a boy or a girl we will add pops of color to the room at that point.  I forgot to get a picture of mom in the room, but when she comes back in a few weeks I'll have to get one!  I guess that pretty much catches you up on what is going on with us.  So now you see why the changes on the blog.  I will try to write more often as we have updates.  I do plan on doing some FAQs that people ask us all the time.  So stay tuned...do you have a question for us, feel free to ask and if we can answer we will.