Hello, November!

November is finally here!!!  Yay!!!!  I love November!  It might be my most favorite month, with December close behind!  There are so many great things about November!  The cool weather, fire pit nights, football, Jerry's birthday, our Anniversary, it is National Adoption Month, our nephew is being born!  Did you hear those???  First off the cool weather is having a bit of a delay.  This was the weather forecast for the week.  Yes the first week of NOVEMBER!!!!  

Then Jerry's birthday and our Anniversary!  It is so hard to believe that that 11 years has gone by!  I am so lucky to go through this adventure with Jerry!

National Adoption Month is HERE!!!!  There are so many fun activities going on this month for adoptive families.  I'll be talking about some this month that we are participating with!  I'll be talking about some of our favorite local groups and people here in the local adoption world!  Stay tuned!!! 

AND.....

In case you haven't heard!!!!  Amy got her promotion this summer, I am so looking forward to holding my favorite boy!  He has no idea how much he is going to be spoiled by his Aunt Brooke!  Mac you are so loved! 

If you have followed me on Facebook over the years you know every November participate in the 30 days of thanks!  Those of you that know me know I try to show my thanks and appreciation on a daily basis.  I do love that we can bring attention to being thankful!  We should be thankful for our blessings everyday, NOT just in November!  Won't you join me in taking time to thank the one who blesses us daily!

Today I am thankful for the One who blesses us.  We have a wonderful Father in Heaven who is always there for us.  He knows our path and what our future holds.  We need to keep the faith in Him.  God continues to bless our family daily!  I can't even image where we would be if we didn't have Him.  What are you thankful for today?

Check back for fun November happenings! 

Finally getting around to it....

How many of you have a really great idea and really want to do something that is going to be great, but you forget to do it or haven't had the time.  Well put me in that bucket.  If you are reading this you are aware of our waiting period for our adoption.    I came across this article several months ago.  I thought it would be a great way to help us get through the waiting period.  I don't know about you but these are some of my random thoughts on waiting:  

Honestly I try to wait patiently, but it is hard.  I don't know if I am the only one who has a hard time waiting or not.  But I am trying to not to only wait, but still do something.  Our life does not stop while we wait.  So I had wanted to this cool waiting bucket idea.  I knew immediately that I loved this idea, but wanted to make a few changes to it.  I knew that I wanted our support group to be able to be involved in this amazing gift to our future child.  I also want to pause here and give a DISCLAIMER!!!!!! 

Remember this post????  Remember when we talked about how we can't share many details during this process.  I know when I start to post something or do something people start to get excited and we thank you for your excitement.  We know you are all with us in the journey and are praying for us.  But we can't share everything with you at this time.  :)  I know I know, but it is the way it has to be.  Just know that God is still in control and He is working.  DISCLAIMER OVER!!!!

Here is how you can help and be involved.  I am sending out an email on the adaptation of the bucket idea.  If you do not get the email, but would like to be involved please let me know.  

We cannot thank you for all your prayers. It means so very much!!!

I didn't want to ask....

The last few months have been very quiet on the adoption front.  One of the most common things that we hear is "I didn't want to ask".  First off, please ask.  We are happy to talk about it.  We can't always tell you everything, but we will tell you what we can.  We enjoy talking about it.  Many of you probably saw this beautiful post that Amy ( my sister) wrote after Thanksgiving.  If you didn't get to see it on Facebook it I have posted it below:

“Adopting one child won’t change the world, but for that child, the world will change.” —Unknown

My sister, Brooke, and brother-in-law, Jerry started their journey to adopt in September of last year and today they are still waiting for the child (or children) God has called to become a Shands. Brooke and Jerry have constantly amazed me through this process. The process has been long and extremely emotional for them both. As they have encountered delay after delay, my reaction is to tell Brooke to take action but their response is to wait on the Lord because they know He is in charge. THEY AMAZE ME!! Jerry told Collin that, “If a certain child is meant to be with us God will make it happen, if that child is not meant to be with us we can’t make that happen.”

“I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” —John 14:18

Brooke and Jerry feel called to adopt a child, not a baby. When people ask her why she would want to adopt an older child and not a baby her response was, “Why would we get in line to wait for a baby when there are children who are waiting for a forever family?” If you don’t know my sister personally, that statement should tell you all you need to know about her.

“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” —Oprah Winfrey

Last year we expected there would be a new addition to the Shands family when we celebrated Christmas this year, but sadly that is not the case. We know God is faithful and His timing is perfect. So we wait and pray for the day the next Shands will join our family! This is my plea and prayer…PLEASE share this post, PLEASE pray for movement in the process, PLEASE send happy thoughts their way, PLEASE pray for a Christmas miracle!!
#prayingandwaitingonthenextshands

I told you, it was a beautiful post. Even though it looks like our miracle won't happen this Christmas we haven't given up on God's plan.  We know He has an AMAZING plan for our family.  Sometimes it gets really hard to see it and to be reminded of that.  Even though times are tough, we know He has a plan. 

  As most of you know:

It is mine and Jerry's favorite time of the year.  This year has been very different.  It has been much harder than we expected.  I normally wouldn't write about this (let's be honest, I haven't written much of anything lately!  LOL!) but writing seems to help and I know that there are others going through difficult times right now.  Maybe it can comfort those who feel alone to know you are not alone.  It is true in Amy's statement that we thought our Christmas this year would look much different.  Even up to a few months ago we thought this Christmas and this year would be so much different.  Unfortunately we are learning the hard way the frustrations of the adoption process.   

Jerry and I decided a few weeks ago that we would "take the rest of the year off" and listen to God and what he has planned for us.  We believe that God calls us to action, not just to sit there and wait. While we have taken the last few months off of actively doing what we can for our adoption we haven't been idle.  We have prayed, and we think that is what God wanted from us at this time.  Please be praying for what our next steps should be.  I also have realized that I have not spent the time I needed to in the Word during this quiet time.  I hope to dive in over the next few weeks, so if you have any encouraging scriptures or studies that you can pass my way I would appreciate it.  

Please remember those who hearts might be hurting this time of year.  I don't say this just for our family, I say this for so many others.  We am so blessed with friends and family that understand the hard times.  The people who send the text at just the right time to say they are praying for you, the people who share the hugs when they see the hurt in your eyes, the people who know words don't have to be shared.  I cannot say this enough we have the most wonderful support group.  Sometimes finding the right words to say is hard, so this season just be there for people.  

If you made it this far thanks for reading all my random thoughts.  We wish you all a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!  I hope that 2016 will be a great year for us all.  I have a project for 2016 that I will post about soon.  I hope you get to spend lots of time with your family and friends.  

Want to talk about our Adoption?

One thing Jerry and I love about life right now is getting to talk to people about our adoption process, growing our family and sharing the information we have learned about the adoption world.  Some people are afraid to ask us the questions they might really want to know.  So I thought I would put together some of the most Frequently Asked Questions.  I mean who doesn't love a good FAQ?!?!

1.  So when do you get your baby? Well we are not sure when we will be matched with our child, but we are about 99% sure we will not be getting a baby.  The next question we get is why do you say that?  Since we are adopting through the state most of their children are "older" children.  Most of their children are 8 or older.  They also have some form of a special need.  And have had a tough beginning to life.  And we are ready to give a home to them.  

2.  Are you getting a boy or a girl? That is a great question, and one we don't have an answer for yet. But we do not have a preference.  

3.  How old will they be?  We don't have a preference on this one either.  We have put in that we are willing to take any where from a newborn to 12 years old. 

4.  Why are you going through the state? After much prayer and talking to several agencies we felt that God wanted us to go through the state and be the forever family to a child who has come from foster care.  And who can really go against that God feeling?  

5.  Won't it be harder? Isn't parenting hard if you birthed your child?  Sure it is.  We know that we will have challenges and we know that we will reach out for help and support.  But we know that this is where God wants us and he will give us the strength to handle any challenge in our life.  

6.  Aren't you worried about the birth family coming back? This is not a major concern for us.  Most of the children have had their parental rights already terminated.  If we feel that it is safe for our child/children to have contact (phone, email, face to face) with some of their birth family then we will support that, BUT ONLY if it is safe.  

7.  What if you get more than one? Bring it on.  We have put in that we are willing to take up to two, if they are in a sibling group.  So that is always a possibility.  While we only have one room ready at this time and it is only set up one we have been planning.  Jerry and (Uncle) David have already talked and determined that they can build a bunk bed pretty quickly if needed, or we can get two twin bed frames if we needed to.  And we are prepared to turn the other room into another child's room if needed.  We have a plan!  :)    

8.  How long has your process been up to this point?  

For us so far we are entering into our 8th month of the process.  But we are in our first month of our paper pregnancy.  We started seriously looking last summer at different options and agencies, but we started our paperwork and classes in September 2014.  Boy this statement below is the truth.  If you ever want to see our stack of paperwork just ask.  And that is not even everything we have filled out, but it will all be worth it when we are matched with our child/children.

Paper Pregnant?  What's that?  That is when you have your home study approval and you are officially approved to adopt.  And now you are just waiting.  Oh the waiting...it is terrible.  God is teaching us here.  

This is just funny to me, but it will be so worth it!

Gosh, I hope it is not that long.  

One of the questions that follows this one is so once you are matched then what happens?  Once we are matched we will be able to read the child's profile, and if we decide to proceed then we will get to have a face to face visit. If that goes well we could have another face to face visit or an over night visit. After the over night visit we will get to have an extended visit, like a long weekend.  Much of this will depend on where the child is currently living.  We hope that our immediate family will be able to meet them at this point, but again we will have to see what the situation is.  Then if all goes well they get to move in.  In Alabama the child has to be in your home for three months before you can file for adoption.  Once we file for adoption we go to court and get to have our GOTCHA DAY and become an official family!  **Warning, during this time we will not be able to share any to much information about the child with you.  Until those papers are signed we will have to be very protective of information being shared.  I know this will be hard on all of us, but the reward will be great!  And then we can all yell from the mountain tops!  

9.  What do you do in your spare time to get things ready or not think about it so much?  If you know anything about me you know I like my lists, my schedules, and being prepared.  Well there is very little of that in this process.  So, we get things ready around the house for a child or children we don't know if they are a boy or a girl, if there is one or two, or how old they are or even what they like.  Sounds easy right?  Hahaha!  Well we clean out stuff.  The room is ready for a child.  The closet is my next project.  And you search.  You search to find your child.  I am currently in the process of setting up our profile on http://www.adoptuskids.org/ .  You have to write a description about the family and I am in the process of putting that together.  I am gathering information about surrounding states about their adoption process and requirements.  We have to stay within the state of Alabama for 6 months before we can put out inquires in other states and that is totally fine with us. But if the time comes and we need to start looking in other states we don't want to have to wait to met a requirement that we could have been prepared for earlier.  The below picture is my "adoption Mom bag".  It is something I made up, but it is something I have with me on most days.  It has my planner, notebook, folder and pens.  You never know when you might have a free moment to do some research.  I know I have a problem, but the first step is admitting it, right?

10. What can I do to help?  This is probably one of the questions we get asked the most.  And as much as I would love to be able to tell you exactly what we needed, sizes, color, styles, etc.  I just can't right now.  So for right now we ask for your prayers.  Prayers for us as we wait, prayers for our child/children, prayers for whatever situation they might be in this very minute, prayers for their safety, prayers for their foster families, prayers for our families and friends, prayers for our case worker, and even prayers for their birth family.  And know when the time comes and we need help with something we will ask.  

So I hope this answered some of your questions.  If you still have questions for us just ask.  We love talking about it.  It makes us feel more and more like parents.  And we love talking about our kids!  :)  

Oh yeah today was the first race of the year! Jerry informed me last night that he and David would be running in the  Resurrection Run this morning.  Awesome!  So we were up early after a night of celebrating with Miss Kelsey and her 16th Birthday last night and ready to rock a race.  Little did we know last night that registration was at 6:30 and the race didn't start till 8:30, but that gave Tricette and I time to catch up on some You Tube clips!  All in all it was a great race.  The weather was beautiful, the venue was nice, and the company was even better.  Jerry found out that he placed 2nd in his age group, so GO JERRY!  I guess it is safe to say:  Our season has started!