One thing Jerry and I love about life right now is getting to talk to people about our adoption process, growing our family and sharing the information we have learned about the adoption world. Some people are afraid to ask us the questions they might really want to know. So I thought I would put together some of the most Frequently Asked Questions. I mean who doesn't love a good FAQ?!?!
1. So when do you get your baby? Well we are not sure when we will be matched with our child, but we are about 99% sure we will not be getting a baby. The next question we get is why do you say that? Since we are adopting through the state most of their children are "older" children. Most of their children are 8 or older. They also have some form of a special need. And have had a tough beginning to life. And we are ready to give a home to them.
2. Are you getting a boy or a girl? That is a great question, and one we don't have an answer for yet. But we do not have a preference.
3. How old will they be? We don't have a preference on this one either. We have put in that we are willing to take any where from a newborn to 12 years old.
4. Why are you going through the state? After much prayer and talking to several agencies we felt that God wanted us to go through the state and be the forever family to a child who has come from foster care. And who can really go against that God feeling?
5. Won't it be harder? Isn't parenting hard if you birthed your child? Sure it is. We know that we will have challenges and we know that we will reach out for help and support. But we know that this is where God wants us and he will give us the strength to handle any challenge in our life.
6. Aren't you worried about the birth family coming back? This is not a major concern for us. Most of the children have had their parental rights already terminated. If we feel that it is safe for our child/children to have contact (phone, email, face to face) with some of their birth family then we will support that, BUT ONLY if it is safe.
7. What if you get more than one? Bring it on. We have put in that we are willing to take up to two, if they are in a sibling group. So that is always a possibility. While we only have one room ready at this time and it is only set up one we have been planning. Jerry and (Uncle) David have already talked and determined that they can build a bunk bed pretty quickly if needed, or we can get two twin bed frames if we needed to. And we are prepared to turn the other room into another child's room if needed. We have a plan! :)
8. How long has your process been up to this point?
For us so far we are entering into our 8th month of the process. But we are in our first month of our paper pregnancy. We started seriously looking last summer at different options and agencies, but we started our paperwork and classes in September 2014. Boy this statement below is the truth. If you ever want to see our stack of paperwork just ask. And that is not even everything we have filled out, but it will all be worth it when we are matched with our child/children.
Paper Pregnant? What's that? That is when you have your home study approval and you are officially approved to adopt. And now you are just waiting. Oh the waiting...it is terrible. God is teaching us here.
This is just funny to me, but it will be so worth it!
Gosh, I hope it is not that long.
One of the questions that follows this one is so once you are matched then what happens? Once we are matched we will be able to read the child's profile, and if we decide to proceed then we will get to have a face to face visit. If that goes well we could have another face to face visit or an over night visit. After the over night visit we will get to have an extended visit, like a long weekend. Much of this will depend on where the child is currently living. We hope that our immediate family will be able to meet them at this point, but again we will have to see what the situation is. Then if all goes well they get to move in. In Alabama the child has to be in your home for three months before you can file for adoption. Once we file for adoption we go to court and get to have our GOTCHA DAY and become an official family! **Warning, during this time we will not be able to share any to much information about the child with you. Until those papers are signed we will have to be very protective of information being shared. I know this will be hard on all of us, but the reward will be great! And then we can all yell from the mountain tops!
9. What do you do in your spare time to get things ready or not think about it so much?
If you know anything about me you know I like my lists, my schedules, and being prepared. Well there is very little of that in this process. So, we get things ready around the house for a child or children we don't know if they are a boy or a girl, if there is one or two, or how old they are or even what they like. Sounds easy right? Hahaha! Well we clean out stuff. The room is ready for a child. The closet is my next project. And you search. You search to find your child. I am currently in the process of setting up our profile on http://www.adoptuskids.org/ . You have to write a description about the family and I am in the process of putting that together. I am gathering information about surrounding states about their adoption process and requirements. We have to stay within the state of Alabama for 6 months before we can put out inquires in other states and that is totally fine with us. But if the time comes and we need to start looking in other states we don't want to have to wait to met a requirement that we could have been prepared for earlier. The below picture is my "adoption Mom bag". It is something I made up, but it is something I have with me on most days. It has my planner, notebook, folder and pens. You never know when you might have a free moment to do some research. I know I have a problem, but the first step is admitting it, right?
10. What can I do to help? This is probably one of the questions we get asked the most. And as much as I would love to be able to tell you exactly what we needed, sizes, color, styles, etc. I just can't right now. So for right now we ask for your prayers. Prayers for us as we wait, prayers for our child/children, prayers for whatever situation they might be in this very minute, prayers for their safety, prayers for their foster families, prayers for our families and friends, prayers for our case worker, and even prayers for their birth family. And know when the time comes and we need help with something we will ask.
So I hope this answered some of your questions. If you still have questions for us just ask. We love talking about it. It makes us feel more and more like parents. And we love talking about our kids! :)
Oh yeah today was the first race of the year! Jerry informed me last night that he and David would be running in the
Resurrection Run this morning. Awesome! So we were up early after a night of celebrating with Miss Kelsey and her 16th Birthday last night and ready to rock a race. Little did we know last night that registration was at 6:30 and the race didn't start till 8:30, but that gave Tricette and I time to catch up on some You Tube clips! All in all it was a great race. The weather was beautiful, the venue was nice, and the company was even better. Jerry found out that he placed 2nd in his age group, so GO JERRY! I guess it is safe to say: Our season has started!
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